Wednesday, September 12

Subject: Cinderellas Attacking Mort Like Salafis!
Time: 1:37pm

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Subject: Junta Take Over Of Yasmine’s Chamber
Time: 1:38pm

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Subject: Another Jeep Freak
Time: 1:40pm

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Subject: Flatulence And Honey
Time: 8:02pm

Yesterday

Subject: Impress Your Goat With A Nice Lamp
Time: 9:24am

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Subject: The Insatiable Goat In The Post-Copulation Stage
Time: 9:26am

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Subject: Another Failed Attempt At Limb Salvage
Time: 9:27am

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Subject: Mort Metamorphosed As A Saffron Rabbit
Time: 9:29am

Sahar: That rabbit looks nothing like you.
Mort: That’s what metamortosis means! But it’s “sacred youth” nonthelessez!

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Subject: Mort Monitoring His Auspicious Planetary Conjunction
Time: 9:30am

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Subject: Grope Before Pushing Her Off The Precipice
Time: 9:32am

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Subject: Wash Your Hands Before You Smoke And After You Return To Work
Time: 9:33am

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Subject: She Loves Her Mortattoo & Fox Mask
Time: 9:35am

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Subject: Historical Masterpiece By The Durable Sir Mortimor B.
Time: 9:46am

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Subject: In Domestic Violence There Is No Clear Winner!
Time: 9:51am

The red car is the wife and the other the husband!

Sahar: Um …

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Subject: Season For Mortsimmons Is Back!
Time: 7:46pm

Mina: How does that compare to Richard Simmons?
Mort: Comparable; one is a fruit, the other a fruitcake!
Sahar: I love RIchard Simmons.
Mina: Me too.
Mort: You also love rodents!
Sahar: What can I say? I have a lot of love to give!
Mort: U are diluting your love for Mort.
Sahar: Take it up with, Richard.
Mort: I hate him. I’d rather purchase more love from Yasmine!
Sahar: LOL

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Subject: Persimort In Autumn
Time: 7:48pm

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Subject: Mortomancy: Best Prognostication For A Small Fee!
Time: 2:25pm