Bonus: Be a Man

I got this email in Spain too, but I tots forgot about it. It was written as a response to this photo, with the subject line: Orchids Threaten Healix Executive’s Masculinity.

The subject of the photo responded and was pretty good-humored about the whole thing. - Sahar

From: John
Subject: Orchids Threaten Healix Executive’s Masculinity
Time: 6:27pm

Au contraire!

There are several facts to note over the history of the Orchid that would question the veracity of this “threat”!  Rather, this history will serve to validate and enhance the otherwise obvious masculinity which virtually oozes from the attached photograph (published without permission of the subject I might add).

The entire supposition of this statement is challenged by the very definition of the word Orchid.  This comes from the Greek, Orchis, meaning testicle.

•The testicle (from Latin testiculus, diminutive of testis, meaning “witness of virility”  (emphasis mine)

Also, please note that the Orchid is generally thought to be one of the most cosmopolitan and exotic of flowers found indigenous around the globe.  They also exhibit characteristics generally ascribed to myself as well, giving off a sense of refinement and innocence.

From the drink imbibed by the Aztecs of vanilla orchids and chocolate to give power and strength, to an ingredient in many Chinese love potions, civilizations throughout history deride the very foundations of the authors highly dubious claim.

And finally, offered as a final rebuttal to this malicious attack, a current pictorial representation is attached ending any doubt on the matter.

Mort: Your defense diatribe accepted. May we post it?
John: You may…
Do you have a new permissions policy post the unauthorized reproduction of my image? If so, I will see if my retainer can be returned from counsel.

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One Response to Bonus: Be a Man

  1. Huan says:

    If I had known John was so uninhibited, I think my days with Healix would have been far funnier. As to Johnn’s assertions, I would point out that there are many kinds of orchids, including this one:

    “Scientists have discovered an orchid that never needs to get a date—it can fertilize itself by performing a sexual act never before seen in flowers.

    The hermaphroditic orchid shuns the sexual practices of other flowers and completes the deed without the help of sticky liquids, birds or even a breath of wind, a new study reveals.”

    http://www.livescience.com/environment/060621_orchid_sex.html

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